Controlling Reactions

Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, and slow to wrath: For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God (James 1:19-20).

We can’t always control what happens in life, but we can control our reactions to them. When I taught school, I tried to tell my students this. I had a few who always stayed in trouble because they would fly off the handle and attempt to take care of a problem themselves. I tried to show them they were letting others push their buttons and get them in trouble. Often, they were giving someone who wished them ill too much control in their lives.  If you’ve ever watched small children playing, everything usually goes along fine until one takes the toy another wants. Then, their selfish natures take over and it turns into a struggle. Adults sometimes do similar things.

Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord (Romans 12:19).

Jesus, however, taught that we’re not to retaliate when we’re wronged, especially if we’re insulted or humiliated. This doesn’t mean that we don’t report crimes, but it does mean we don’t seek vengeance. Look at what Jesus did from His arrest to His death on the cross. He’d been insulted, ridiculed, slapped, and stabbed. What did he do? He prayed, “Father, forgive them.” His eyes were not on this world but on His Father, where ours should be also. We are to let go of what we think we deserve and follow Jesus on the road of forgiveness and self-denial. Think of how many relationships would be saved if we did this. Many a divorce happens when one or both begin to say, “I deserve better than this.” Didn’t Adam and Eve think this in the garden of Eden when they took the forbidden fruit? This type of thinking puts us at the center of our world instead of God. Jesus said we are to love everyone, even those who wrong us. 

But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you (Matthew 5:44).

Our pride gets in the way. This is one of the reasons pride is a devastating sin. If we feel insulted, it’s a blow to our ego. To be followers of Christ it’s imperative that we let go of our inflated egos and pride. Jesus taught humility over and over again.

He teaches us to forget thinking we’re entitled to anything, and squelch our pride. Not only does Jesus tell us to not seek revenge, but we’re supposed to go out of our way to help others, even when those others aren't people we'd choose to help. Jesus’ standards include a greater degree of caring and kindness than is usually seen in the world. If you think this is too meek or cowardly, think again. His way takes a great deal more courage than fighting back.  But oh, how much better this world would be if we would pattern our lives after Him!

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