Signs of Just Telling

A quick way to make a novel boring is by just telling the reader what happened. You need to pull them in and make them a part of the story, not leave them off to the side as a bystander or spectator. Even descriptions should be worked into the story as a character encounters them, and not presented as a long narrative.

Keywords can be red flags to just telling. Here are just a few common ones to look for:

• realized 
• seemed
• felt
• heard
• angry/anger/ angrily
• started to/begin to
• was/were/is/are/be/been
• adverbs ending in ly

You don't want to overuse any of these words. Are there better ways of saying the same things? Instead of just telling, give it some action.

Mary was sad to see Greg's train pull out of the station. 

Mary wiped the tears from her eyes to see Greg's face one last time before the train rolled from the station, taking him away. 

Do a search on a section of your writing, and rewrite some of these red flags you find. Learn to make the story come alive for readers. Draw them in and allow them to live your story with the characters.

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A Relationship with the Lord

The relationship you have with God is more important than what you do for Him. This was one of the things James wanted to get across in James 2:14. Sin severed that relationship, but Christ died on the cross to restore it. Now, we can be in the presence of our holy, perfect God when we accept Christ as our Savior and Lord. "The entire New Testament drives home the point that we have been set apart for God and are cleansed in Christ" (Stop Trying to Fix Yourself, Eddie Snipes).

We were made for this relationship, and we will never feel completely whole and content without it. Too many "Christians" are satisfied with their shallow acquaintance with God. They visit with Him on occasion but never allow an intimate, personal relationship to develop. In their lukewarmness, they don't know what they're missing. 

This relationship is what also grows our faith. "Faith produces good works, but works doesn't produce faith" (Stop Trying to Fix Yourselves, Eddie Snipes). As Easter approaches, what better time to establish or renew your relationship with the Lord? I am still amazed and awed that we can have such a relationship. However, once you have it, you'll realize that this is your greatest treasure.

Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you (Matthew 7:7).

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Don't Give Them Your Worst

I once read where a very well-known author said, "Keep pouring on the worst you can think of for your characters." I don't agree. The main characters should go through some problems, struggles, and yes, sometimes some of the worst. But too much of this frustrates the reader and turns them off. If the author does a good job of drawing the reader into the story, nothing but the worst can become agonizing, almost torture. It's certainly not entertaining, and that's why many readers open a book in the first place.

I think every novel should have some happy moments, even before the conclusion. That and humor can relieve the frustration, agony, or torture of heavy problems. I've read books where there were nothing but intense struggles, and I had to put the book down often. In no way was it a page-turner, and I remain wary of those authors. 

I'm reading a book by one of my favorite authors right now. The first half of the book was wonderful with believable situations that cause problems or separate the main characters. But then, the story takes an almost unbelievable turn for the worst to prolong the book, and one terrible thing after another happens to keep the couple apart. I am beyond frustrated, although I have no doubt things will work out in the end. I hate this type of maneuvering. This is the first book like this I've encountered of hers. If the next two books in the series follow the same format, I will not be buying any more of her books.

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 Selfish Results

Owe no man any thing, but to love one another: for he that loveth another hath fulfilled the law (Romans 13:8).

Someone once said that 99% of the world's problems could be alleviated if we could do away with selfishness. In addition, most of our unhappiness comes from being self-centered. When we are only out for number one, nothing ever satisfies us, we never have enough, and people never treat us as we think we deserve.

For the law is fulfilled in one word, even this; Thou shalt love they neighbor as thyself (Galations 5:14).

Jesus taught a better way -- love. We are to love God with all our hearts, souls, and minds and love others as much as ourselves (see Matthew 22:37-40). When we focus on God and helping others in love, we find a feeling of peace and satisfaction beyond what we ever thought possible.

By this shall men know that ye are my disciples, of ye have love for one another (John 13:35).

So, let us walk in Jesus' footprints and live a life of service to others as He directs. The ones who do this find that they get back so much more than they can ever give. The main rewards are internal, spiritual, and eternal for we will be storing up riches in heaven, but we will also find joy right now.

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 Ending with Cliffhangers

I don't understand why authors continue to use cliffhangers to end their books. I've never heard of a reader who likes them, and most hate them. I've noticed all of them have lower reviews. I would never buy the next book if a novel has one. The only way I've ever continued a series with cliffhangers is if I already had the entire series prior to beginning to read them.

A good place for cliffhangers is at the end of a chapter within the book, not at the conclusion. This can help make the book a can't-put-it-down pageturner, but no book should end that way. The reader has invested time and usually money in the book, and they're owed a solid, satisfying ending. To write anything else, especially without mentioning it ahead of time, seems dishonest or cheating the reader.

Authors should instead concern themselves with writing stories so good that readers will want to continue reading them. If they do this, they won't need underhanded gimmicks, and they will establish a much larger fan base in the long run. I think cliffhangers are for insecure authors who don't have enough confidence in their work, not for the professional.

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Hannah's Story

(See 1 Samuel 1)

Hannah had been barren for years, and it came to torment her. Her husband had another wife and children, and that made matters worse, especially since Peninnah, the other wife, harrassed Hannah because she had no child. When they went to the temple, Hannah fell down and wept before the Lord. For years she had prayed for a child to ease her shame. However, this time in her desperation she promised if God would give her a son, she would give him back to God's service.

 This is what God wanted to hear. He needed a special man who would follow His will because Israel had become corrupt, including many of her young priests. Hannah had finally come to the place God wanted her. Instead of selfishly wanting a son for her benefit, she was willing to submit to God and align with His plan. God granted her request, and Samuel was born. True to her word, when Samuel was old enough to wean, she took him to the temple and left him with Eli. Samuel would go on to become a strong Jewish leader, dedicated to serving God.

Sometimes, we might have to wait for answered prayers for the same reason. God might be preparing our hearts to get to the place where we can be used in a way that's best and benefits us and/or others most. When we reach that position, He gives us so much more than we imagined because such service enriches us beyond anything we thought possible. Be patient and wait upon the Lord as you surrender to Him.

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Different Opinions about Narrators

We all know how different people and their opinions can be. This is very evident when looking at audiobook narrators where listeners have fewer chances to give their own interpretations to passages than they do when they read a book. In addition, there are differences of opinions on various aspects of the audible:

Do you prefer a male narrator or a female? (I tend to choose the one that the book has most of its points of view written in.)

Does the age of the narrator make a difference? (I want the age of the voice to be somewhat close to the main characters in the book.)

Should the accent of the narrator match the location of the setting? (I prefer this, but it's not crucial if the narrator has a general accent. However, they need to be able to handle any special accents within the manuscript.)

But apart from the issues and choices surrounding narrations, people look at the same thing so differently. For example, one reviewer wrote, "Narrator did a great job on the accents, emotions and differentiating the characters. Looking forward to Hopkins' next novel and hope she teams with this narrator again." However, another reviewer said of the same narrator: "Unfortunately the narrator didn’t do male voices at all so it was difficult to distinguish between the male and female voices and know who was speaking at times." A third reviewer added, "The reader has a smooth voice for this read and does the intonations well. She brings this book to life with her storytelling talents." But another observed, "Some of the voices were a bit choppy. Like the narrator was trying to slow down more."

All of this points to the fact that what appeals to some listeners will not others. The listener who gave a bad review above told me I should check the narrators of an author she liked. I did, but I didn't like those narrators at all and thought the ones I used were much better. There is truly no pleasing everyone. The author should just choose the best narrator possible, knowing that not everyone will like that choice. And perhaps the listener should be a bit more generous in their evaluations. Narrating is not easy, and most narrators hired by the big publishers will not accept books from indie authors.

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 Nurturing

And he spake many things unto them in parables, saying, Behold a sower went forth to sow (Matthew 13:3).

If farmers want a good harvest, they have a lot of work to do. Even after they prepare the fields, and plant the seeds, their work is not done. They must keep the area free of weeds, and nurture the tender plants as they poke through the soil. They may even provide water during dry spells and nutrients to encourage growth.

And some fell among thorns, and the thorns sprung up, and choked them (Matthew 13:7).

Christians should take note and follow this example. Too many times we plant Gospel seeds, and once they take root so that someone accepts Christ as their Savior, the witness thinks his or her job is done. A new Christian needs nurturing to grow strong in their faith. They need mentoring, so they can also lead others to Christ. Think about what would happen to that field if the farmer planted it and then abandoned it to itself.

But other fell into good ground, and brought forth fruit, some an hundredfold, some sixtyfold, and some thiryfold (Matthew 13:8).

We should be examples to new Christians of what it means to live a Christian life and to love as Christ taught us. We should be willing to help them find answers to their questions and provide fellowship and support. A plant left on its own may never mature and bear much fruit, and we don't want that for our Christian friends. Let's make sure the new Christians around us fall on fertile soil and are nurtured.  

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Sterling Orphans

The second book in the Cactus Creek series, Sterling Orphans, has just been released. For fans who loved Second-Choice Bride, I think you'll like this one even better. Preston and Abby are still there as secondary characters, but Will (Billy) Hudson and Gray Fox (Lone Wolf's son) become main characters, along with two new characters, Rose Sterling and Letty Sawyer.

Amazon Link for Sterling Orphans

Needing to leave Sterling Orphan House at eighteen, Rose Sterling is to take toddler, Katie Hudson, to her father who works on the King Ranch in New Mexico Territory. She thought her biggest adventure would be getting there on the wagon train, but she was wrong. Will Hudson can’t believe he has a daughter. His wife had left him for a gambler, and he’s been trying to cope ever since. He doesn’t make the best impression on Rose Hudson at first, but he sees how much his little daughter loves and depends on her. Can he adjust to fatherhood, or will he always be a disappointment to the women in his life? Letty Sawyer is terrified of Indians since they killed her adoptive parents. When she ends up on the King Ranch, can Gray Fox show her that all Indians aren’t alike and that he would protect her with his life?

I am excited about the western series set in early New Mexico. My dual narrators are already hard at work producing the Audible version of Sterling Orphans. The Audible version of Second-Choice Bride is already out. The third book in the series, Poor Relation is with my editor now. It should be out toward the end of April or first of May.

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